THE relationship that brought Dean Shillingsworth into the world began with a phone call. Rachel Pfitzner was babysitting at Tamworth when she answered Ann Coffey's phone. Coffey's son, Paul Shillingsworth, was ringing from jail.
To Pfitzner, a man with a criminal record was nothing out of the ordinary. She was vulnerable. He was charming. He told her to look at the photograph on top of the TV. That's me, he said. She liked what she saw.
As the couple's families told the
Herald this week, it was a match destined for disaster. His relatives say she was a drug user. Hers say he was a violent drunk.
The story of Dean's death has shocked the country, and sparked bitter accusations, claims and counter-claims from two warring families. Pfitzner has been charged with her son's murder.
Pfitzner, 26, was born in Blacktown, where she grew up with her parents and five brothers and sisters. It was, said one brother, a stable childhood.
She went to a Catholic high school, where she felt rejected by the popular group. She left at 16 and began hanging out with a rough crowd, her brother said.
"She went AWOL. They used to butt out their cigarettes on her. She found that acceptable, because they were the only group that would accept her." Some of her boyfriends were violent.
Pfitzner's family recall her excelling at art and Aboriginal studies at school. She is not Aboriginal. Paul James Shillingsworth, who grew up in Brewarrina, in northern NSW, is.
He showed an early talent for traditional dance and formed a professional troupe with his brothers. But as a teenager, he found trouble.
Paul had been a good kid who "got silly" as he grew up, says Coffey. He discovered alcohol and was in and out of jail. About four years ago, from prison, he made that phone call.
"How 'bout a visit?" he had asked. The question did lead to a visit, and a flirtation, which developed into a relationship when he was released.
From the start, neither family approved. Shillingsworth's family thought Pfitzner was "queer".
"I didn't like her because she was a junkie," Coffey said. "Paul wasn't. He was just an alcoholic." Coffey does not remember Pfitzner babysitting for her.
Pfitzner's family denied she used drugs. They said Shillingsworth was violent, like many of Pfitzner's boyfriends. "I never liked him from the word go," said her mother, Beverley. The relationship was on-again, off-again. They moved between Sydney and north-western NSW.
At Nepean Hospital on February 25, 2005, Pfitzner gave birth to Dean. He was bright and lively, if a little naughty. He adored Spider-Man, which he called "biderman", and would gobble boxes of Chicken in a Biskit. "He had everything, he got what he wanted," said Donald, an uncle.
But when he was little more than a year old, both parents went to jail. Dean was put in the care of his grandmother, Coffey, who says she loved Dean dearly. With her husband Edmund, she raised him with a brood of cousins. He called his grandmother "Mum". "Dean didn't really think of her [Pfitzner] as mum," said Coffey. "He would run and hide when she came."
Earlier this year Pfitzner was granted access visits to Dean while on parole. Coffey insisted she be drug tested before each visit.
The Pfitzner family insist Rachel did not take drugs, and that she passed all the urine tests. They accused Coffey of scheming to keep Dean.
"Ann Coffey hated Rachel. Never liked her at all," said Rachel's brother. "The reason why Ann wanted Dean was he turned out real dark. They felt like Dean was one of theirs."
During Dean's visits, Pfitzner knew her relationship with the boy had been damaged by her absence. She had "lost a lot of bonding time", Beverley said.
Pfitzner's mother says that both she and her daughter asked the Department of Community Services for help as she was coping, but struggling.
She defended her daughter as a good mother who was trying her best. "She put in more than 100 per cent. More than 200 per cent. She needed help. I tried to help her, but who listens to their mother? Where were the government agencies when she really needed them?"
Coffey last saw Dean on June 7, when she dropped him for an access visit. Pfitzner did not turn up at appointments to return him.
When a suitcase containing a little boy's body was found floating in an Ambarvale duck pond on October 17, Coffey did not connect it with her grandson.
She visited Pfitzner's house with police officers from Campbelltown a day later, only to be told he was not home. She was told of his death last Saturday.
On the same day, Pfitzner was charged with Dean's murder.
Both families loved Dean deeply, and are devastated by his death. He will be buried in Brewarrina on November 1, although the Pfitzners might hold a separate service.
Pfitzner has spoken to her mother and is in a state of shock, her brother said.
Shillingsworth was released on parole on Wednesday. He had served a month behind bars for breaching parole conditions after failing to tell authorities where he was living. The State Parole Authority warned him to stay away from alcohol.
Straight after his release, he went to the duck pond to remember Dean, and wept.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/...25.html?page=2
Lol!
RIP 
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