Were a dossier of my sins of omission and commission put together, many pages of my faults, weaknesses, errors of judgement, crimes and follies could be itemized. Like the dossier compiled on Jeffrey Wigand, the whistle blower on the tobacco industry and wonderfully acted by Russell Crowe in the film The Insiders(1999), a document could be gathered together and used as the basis of a smear campaign so orchestrated as to make my word seem suspect, my memoir scandalized in the eyes of the moral majority and my name tarnished for posterity. Thankfully such a dossier will never be put together. My name will never be in the running for the confessions of these epochs, this age; I will never be able to rank my confessions beside those of Cassanova, St. Augustine or Rousseau. For I have limited my confessions to a moderate level.
There is plenty of candour in my memoirs; the account is large and spacious, but they are not a centre for the kind of detailed confessionalism that would result in a comprehensive statement of the negative side of my life. Like that "dossier" to expose the faults of my "full life" it will remain uncomposed. Hopefully, though, some may find in my memoirs a powerful voice. Although readers will never know me personally, they may find here a voice compelling and unique. One can dream. One can hope.
Gray hair and decades of practice notwithstanding, the poet--for I like to see myself as one--who lacks a unique and compelling voice remains in the backwater of poetic flows and sounds. Every person has a unique, potentially compelling history and genetic makeup, but powerful, unique and delightful voices are rare. They are rare now and they have always been rare. This is partly due to a lack of what we could simply call talent, and partly due to the restrictions caused by the socialization process. The overly socialized voice may sound sophisticated, kind, efficient, even charming, but it is rarely compelling, refreshing and unique and always hollow in some way. Am I overstating the case?
As a teacher of English for over three decades at all levels of the educational process, I came to know of the reading tastes of a good cross-section of the public. The Bible, Shakespeare, most of the major philosophers, sociologists and social scientists were simply not read by the great mass of the public. They never came anywhere near the writings of the greats of history or of their contemporary society. One could go so far as to say that my chances of winning any popularity contest was just about nil. Indeed, it would probably be a bad sign if I did.
Report #2 At A later Date....Ron Price, Tasmania
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