Sick and Tired

I'm new to this forum yet I have been an avid reader of Crime Library as well as other news related sites for a long time. I am the Father of five wonderful children that exhibit a certain zest as each new comes to a begining that I think most of us have long forgotten. I do not hit my children nor do I believe in any type of abuse. How others raise their children is their buisness, my beliefs are my own. Oddly enough, considering my particular stance I read the news everyday detailing in all its glorious morbid details about one murder, abused child, killed lover, girlfreing, wife daughter etc. after another.
I don't understand how, and maybe there's someone out there that can help me with this, how a parent can hurt there own child? It makes abusolutly no sense to me. I cant even stand to see one of my children get hurt let along me being the cause of that hurt. I was abused as a child, physically and mentally on a daily basis yet I would never want for my children to ever know the pain I was forced to live and deal with.
Yet thats not my I am writing today, I'm actually writing ti find out how and where we went wrong? What is going on that drives people to do the things they do? Is murder and abuse something thats taught somewhere? Has our nation fallen so far that we cant see the light any longer? It's scarey to think that as each day passes not only my children but all of yours as well will be out on there own sometime fairly soon, and this is what there walking into.
I believe we all need to get together and remind our children about the inherent dangers that our society has to offer. Hearing that congress passed another bill does not make me feel any better about what happens out in the world. It does not give me any type of security knowing that the same people that passed an alleged bill to help me live absolutley no where near me. Nor do their children go to the same schools my children go to.
I hope this hasn't been too much of a rant yet I had to voice my opion!


Regards
~Loki

I applaud you on voicing your opinion. I strongly believe that child abuse is a touchy subject. Some views are very different than others. I agree with your POV. I think that kids need to be taught the difference between right and wrong as far as what's appropriate behavior with other adults, and what isnt. Some children are too young to know the difference - or so we think. I believe that even while we may think that our kids are too young, we should teach them anyway. I've read cases, even on this site, about children as young as 9-10 yrs old who have KILLED!! These children did everything they could to cover up their crimes. Now if that doesnt show that children understand FAR MORE than we accredit them, I dont know what does. I think that this subject is one that needs to be more openly discussed.
Dena

Do you remember when we were growing up we had chores to do working after school and making sure you got your homework done? Eating supper with Mom or Dad . We had responability and you were he responable for your actions. Now a day no one is responable for their actions. I can't understand how anyone could hurt a child. I think kids need restrictions saying no there is nothing wrong with that but to hurt a child or anyone is the lowest form of a human being . There are some people who should not be parents. I like your post.

We have too many kids raising kids , add in alcohol and drugs ,
a lethal mix. I see an alarming trend of parents not imposing limits and restrictions but trying to be " buddies " . They dont need a buddy they need a strong guiding hand. I see many households where the child is in charge - deciding menus - activities and bedtimes. Not Good .........
By not imposing punishment or forcing the child to take responsibility for their actions they dont learn about consquences . I believe the schools need to start life skills classes - parenting, budgeting, stress management etc etc.
BTW - most parents do a bang up job and its these extremes that make the news and we hear about.
In my day - you acted up in school - the school punished you and the parents punished you again when you got home as well now the lawyer shows up and child is let off the hook and the school
is held accountable for violating the kids rights .

Great point I remember coming home and if I did wrong you answer to mom. I also remember both my parents working and putting food on the table and they instill those values in us. Now I do believe in a slap on the butt but I do not agree with hitting the kid. I believe in setting the limits . I got lucky and my kid turn out good but I had help from my parents there input and they were alway there to help. I do think parentsneed to talk to there kids more and know what there kids are doing . But I do agree with you

As someone on this thread pointed out- most child molesters are friends of the family or even a relative.

Since I'm a Parole Officer, I can tell you this and mean it completely- Your kids are NOT safe with family friends.
One of my disabled offenders molested his latest victim- and this guy is in a wheelchair.

The "swimsuit law" is what we taught our kids from the time they were able to talk. If someone touches you anywhere that you would normally wear a swimsuit, they need to tell us ASAP.

The how or why someone hurts a child is one of those pyschological or sociological questions that never has an answer. The truth is this: Yes, most child molestors were molested as children, themselves. However, they KNOW BETTER. It's not an excuse, but an explaination.

I think it's mainly the "this is what I had to go through as a child" saying that parents (or well, some) use alot. They had their parents, possibly alcoholic or drug-addicted, swear, yell, or beat them. The child begins to pick up the anger, the behaviours, and when they have a child of their own, teach it to them, creating a cycle.

I do not think that there is any one ANSWER to the problem of child abuse. I KNOW that many people say todays society ,(both parents working is a big cause) I am open to all opions, however MANY GOOD kids today live in homes where parents both work. These kids learn that ALL family members sometimes must work. Children can learn (and will) about the love parents have for them. Kids learn about the work ethic. I think that if ALL of us look around us, we will find a way to help adults&kids in some way. WE ALL ARE responsible for ALL todays kids. It truly may take a "village to raise a child" Please help somebody if you can. As I tell my 2 teenagers,"don"t just complain about things,do something about it. Together we WILL make a difference.

Originally posted by dmsrph
Together we WILL make a difference.

Excellant Thought DMSRPH!

Thanks for the responses!

I just read the latest on how some woman killed her four year old son becasue she was tired of taking care of him, she wanted to go out and party instead. So, she killed him, then torched the house.

It's Sad

Truly.